Not another mall near Polo Park — please…

By Garth Tohms

May 8, 2008

When I heard about developers’ plans to build yet another mall at the sight of the Old Barn on Maroons Road I had to check my calendar to see if it was April Fool’s Day.

Surely this was some kind of a joke? I have to wonder if they’ve never driven anywhere near that area on a Saturday afternoon? The last thing the Polo Park area needs is more friggin’ stores! (Unless, of course, it’s an Ikea.)

And they want it to be an open-air concept!? Oh come on! Where are the hidden cameras? Mr. Funt?

There has to be a better use for that land, no? Are we really so out of ideas that all we can come up with is another Baby Gap??

Why not put something useful and forward thinking there like a solar power station? Or a plant that turns garbage into electricity? Did you know there is technology out there to do that? I can’t believe it isn’t a law to have these plants in every major city yet.

How about a biodome-type enclosure with an indoor beach, complete with pineapple and coconut trees, exotic birds, a huge wave machine and RV parking for seniors? There would be no more seasonal affective disorder.

By now I think you get the idea that I really don’t want to see a mall on the site.

But how about an Aboriginal Centre of Excellence? We have one of the country’s largest Aboriginal populations; shouldn’t we be a leader in Aboriginal culture? Why not build a state-of-the art facility that would offer university classes as well as trades? Offer reserve benefits to the campus, have schools, a cultural centre, and a museum? Aboriginal people would come from all over North America. The government and the First Nations could put up some cash and build something that would really benefit not only the city but also the country.

Oh wait, that would be a noble cause and none of the city’s rich and powerful would make any money; can’t have that.

Besides, the feds and First Nations would never agree long enough for such a project to take shape — so maybe a mall isn’t such a bad idea after all.

I hope it has a Starbucks with a drive-thru.

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